Two-Face

I am a woman with two faces.

One, the face my family sees every day. No makeup, glasses on, and usually topped with messy hair (whether in a ponytail or worn loose).

The other, less frequently seen, wearing makeup and contacts and with smooth, styled and/or curled hair.

They are both me.

There's a common misconception that makeup is a "mask," or somehow used as a way to hide one's true self. In reality, it's most often used as a form of self expression, or because the individual wearing it simply enjoys it. Sometimes it's used as an enhancement or ego boost, or to make the individual feel good.

As for me, I can go out without makeup, no problem. I have no issues with my appearance. I'm aging well, I take care of my skin, and I'm reasonably confident. I'm fortunate to have good self esteem and a husband who thinks I'm irresistible, even when I've neglected myself for days on end. I like my face.

But I also have a LOT of fun playing with makeup. It's fun, I like how it looks, and it's an opportunity to express how I'm feeling. Certain situations and moods bring out different sides of my personality, and I like allowing my outward appearance to reflect that.

As a mother of two little girls who love to watch me put on my makeup, I try to impress upon them that it's just for fun, and certainly not necessary. I don't want them to think they have to wear makeup to be presentable. I don't ever want them to do it for anyone but themselves. I don't hide my natural appearance from them. I want them to know that they don't have to "enhance" themselves to be considered beautiful, and that any makeup they choose to wear  (when they're older) is for them, and no one else. I want them to know that choosing to wear makeup doesn't indicate a lack of self esteem, but rather a desire to have fun with their appearance, the same as hair styles and colors, piercings, tattoos, and clothing.

I share no-makeup selfies on social media as often as makeup selfies. Both of those faces are mine, and I like them equally. Why? Because they're both me. My kids tell me I'm beautiful when I'm in PJ's, yawning and making coffee, with no makeup on and greasy hair falling in my face. They tell me I'm beautiful when I'm all dressed up, with a full face of makeup, ready to go out. And you know what? They're right on both counts. And thanking them for their compliments, no matter when they choose to give them, will hopefully teach them that their self worth doesn't lie in their appearance, but that it's also okay to care about and have fun with their appearance.

There's no one right way to show confidence.